Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Embryo transfer complete!

We had the embryo transfer yesterday and it went really well.

I was nervous waiting to hear about the quality of the embryos. Two of them made it to blast and were high quality which is great. Our RE (who is very measured and not excitable) was genuinely pleased if not thrilled with the quality of the embryos which was encouraging.

So the mood in the room of the transfer was very upbeat and positive.

We transferred one embryo (as my RE doesn't recommend two unless over a certain age), and we froze the other embryo as backup. There is still some faint hope that one or two of the slower embryos may also make it to blast today to be frozen. The clinic will call us to let us know.

So now we're into the two week wait. I'm feeling calm and positive, but my DD is not sleeping! I've been up all night for the last four nights and am completely exhausted now. Please DD, please get some sleep so I can rest and won't feel so grumpy.

Saturday, February 25, 2012

Day three fert report

The clinic called this morning to update us on the progress of the four little embryos.

Apparently they like to see 6 to 8 cells by day three. Our results:

1 x 8 cell
1 x 7 cells
1 x 5 cell (lagging behind a bit)

It's great news that we have three good looking embryos on Day three. They're going to do the transfer on Day 5 (Tuesday).

I'm feeling pretty good about this - we only need one good embryo, and we have three in the running. Fingers crossed we have a sibling for our DD in there somewhere.

Thursday, February 23, 2012

Fertilization Report

We got the fertilization report today, and four of the five eggs have fertilized! I am really pleased with this number as it's the best result we've ever had from an IVF cycle.

We now have to wait for the Day Three report. Last cycle we got lucky and all of the fertilized eggs made it to blast. I'm hoping for two or more embryos that make it. The transfer will be on Tuesday if it all goes to plan.

I've been feeling really cheerful again. I think i've been feeling flat and sad for such a long time.

I know we're a long way off having a take home baby. But it's so encouraging to think that just maybe, our dreams of another child might come true.

I'll update after the Day three report!

Thanks again for reading!

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

ER update

I had the ER today. I was so nervous going in. I was worried that they wouldn't get any mature eggs (or not enough anyway).

It was quite funny, because I had a personal connection to every member of my health team in the operating room. My Mom is a nurse and is good friends with two of the nurses that did the ER. My lovely acupuncturist is married to the anesthetist, and he was told to take extra good care of me. And I know the RE and embryologist from years of attending the fertility clinic. So it was a nice, family affair!

So, they ended up getting five mature eggs that can be injected! I know it's not a high number, but it's a good number for me. Last time I got four eggs which resulted in three embryos (and a live baby) so five eggs is good result for us.

I'm really hoping to get at least three embryos.

Now the waiting begins as we wait for the first fert report tomorrow.

Thanks again for your support and encouragement. I'm finally starting to feel a small glimmer of hope.

Monday, February 20, 2012

ER scheduled

I had my final bloodwork and ultrasound today. There seem to be about 8 eggs of a good size. Based on previous experience, there will hopefully be four or more mature eggs out of the batch.

The ER is set for Thursday, and I have to trigger tonight.

I'm not sure how I feel about it all at the moment. I think it's best to try to forget about it and live life as normally as possible (as difficult as that is!)

I'll update after the ER.

Sunday, February 19, 2012

A great weekend away

DH and I took DD interstate for the weekend to visit friends. Initially I was a bit reluctant about traveling during IVF. But all I needed to do was pack my shots for the night and a few bits and pieces, and off we went.

We had an awesome time catching up with old friends from school. Some of them I haven't seen in years. I felt so good, and forgot all about IVF for a while.

Now we're back home again getting unpacked. We're tired (traveling with a toddler is never a vacation) but we're happy. I feel satisfied with things.

Oh, I almost forgot that I'm due back in the clinic in the morning for another ultrasound and blood work. I'm guessing ER will be this Weds or Thursday. I"m supposed to be working on Weds but I can work on Friday instead if needs be. I'll keep this blog updated.

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Day seven

Hi there,

Today is day seven of the IVF cycle.

I went in for a scan this morning. So far I have about 9 eggs measuring 9-12mm, and a whole heap of other smaller ones developing too. So things are definitely happening in my ovaries.

Although I'm pleased that I am able to grow follicles, from previous experience, only 30-50% of the follicles actually have a mature egg inside them. So if they get 9 eggs from the ER, I can only expect 4 to be mature and able to be used.

I walked out of the clinic this morning feeling pretty depressed. When I got to the car I asked myself why I felt depressed? Things are going well, and there's no reason to be a pessimist. I realised that I'm so used to BFNs and watching other people fall pregnant, that I've developed a bit of a default depressive belief about my ability to conceive again. It isn't logical though, and I know that.

So I gave myself a bit of a pep talk. In actual fact, I'm probably closer to having another baby than I have ever been (fingers crossed). And the shots aren't that bad. So I could actually do it again if I need to do another cycle.

Today I'm just focussing on the day...on what I need to do with this day. Today I'm focussing on growing good eggs, eating well, resting, being with my family and trying to enjoy the day as much as I can.

Friday, February 10, 2012

IVF has started, with a bit of a bang

Today is Day two of IVF number three.

Yesterday I went to the clinic to collect all the medications. I have to admit I was nervous being there and it felt very overwhelming (my last two cycles were frozen, and therefore much easier).

When I got home yesterday I felt a bit crappy. Then I got news from my other friend who has been trying to conceive, that she is pregnant through her first IVF cycle. I was so thrilled for her. But then I selfishly started to feel like I'm stuck in the trenches all alone without her beside me. Add to that, two of my best friends are due to have their babies this week (we had all started trying to fall pregnant at the same time, and while they are giving birth I will be starting another IVF cycle).

It all just seemed too much. Floods of anger, self-pity and sadness flooded over me. I just felt so damn sad, and not hopeful at all that this will work out.

DH was out of the house, so I called my Mom. I could barely speak I was crying so hard.

That night my parents came over for dinner with DH's parents. I couldn't stop crying. It was a little embarrasing, but I just felt so overwhelmed by IVF. My tears continued into the night. I honestly wondered how I'm going to cope with all this, but the alternative of not having a sibling for DD seems worse.

Anyway - I woke up this morning feeling much better. More positive. I realised that i've been pretty stressed out of late, and I've been focussing too much on IVF. I'm going to try to get my life back, and focus less on IVF and more on having fun.

So, here I go again. I'm determined to push any thoughts of self-pity or anger to one side, and try to believe that maybe this might just work out.

(BTW a one-liner from a movie hit home. " It's all going to be alright in the end. So if it's not alright, it's not the end." I have to believe that somehow this will all work out alright. )