Sunday, July 17, 2011

Beta Day

From days 7 through 10 post transfer, I knew I was pregnant. It is unmistakable to me. I had very clear pregnancy symptoms and a faint positive home pregnancy test.

The night before the beta test I went to bed and when I woke up the pregnancy symptoms had gone. I tried another home pregnancy test and the result was even weaker. I suspected that the embryo had implanted for about 3 days, but then failed to survive beyond that.

On the day of the beta we had hope that I was still pregnant. After all, vanishing pregnancy symptoms and a faint positive pregnancy test are hardly accurate predictors of IVF outcomes. But in our hearts we knew.

The beta came back - 7.

Too low for a viable pregnancy.

I have to go back in for a further blood test to make sure it's not eptopic.

DH and I felt such a sense of sadness over this little embryo. It was to be due on my birthday next year, and we had already discussed names. I feel sad that this little life, that would have been deeply loved, is never going to be.

DH leaves on his deployment in a fortnight. We have so much going on right now. Our stress levels are high. My workload at work is high. We're both feeling depressed and stressed. We know that right now isn't a good time for another IVF cycle.

So I'm going to wait a couple of months and then try again. I'm still hopeful that we will have another baby, but right now just isn't the time for us.

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Possible pregnacy symptoms? 8dp5dt

This two week wait has been tough. Tougher than I imagined. There just seems to be so much at stake at the moment. DH is leaving on his deployment in just over two weeks.

Anyway, over the last few days I've been getting some symptoms. At first these symptoms were not good ones - it felt like I was going to get my period.

But those symptoms have been replaced over the last few days with "good" possible pregnancy symptoms.

My skin has deteriorated a bit and I got a big zit! I normally never get zits anymore, but when I was pregnant with my daughter my skin was terrible for the first few months. I think it has something to do with hormone increases.

Secondly, I've been feeling a bit tender in my chest. I haven't felt that since I was pregnant either.

And lastly, I normally get quite a bit of spotting before my period. But I haven't had any spotting at all and my period would be due in the next day or two.

So these symptoms are making me happy. Cause maybe, just maybe there is going to be another member of our family due in March 2012.

PS I may do a home test tomorrow. I'm still scared to do one because if it is positive I'll be worried it's not a true positive (ie a chemical). And if it's negative I'll just feel devastated. So I'm thinking I may just wait for the beta on Saturday and find out for sure.

Saturday, July 9, 2011

The waiting game - 4dp5dt

How can it be only 4 days since the transfer? How!?

I had forgotten how slowly time passes on the two week wait. It seems like an eternity until the beta next Saturday. I''m still not sure if I want to do a home test or not. I'll wait until next week and see how I feel.

We're keeping busy and trying not to think too much about IVF right now. But I have to admit that I find myself daydreaming about due dates, maternity leave and baby names.

My two best friends are recently pregnant. It seems like too much good luck for the three of us to be pregnant at the same time. Could it really happen? Could I really be pregnant? It seems too surreal to even consider at this stage.

DH leaves for his deployment in 3 weeks. It seems like a lot is happening in our lives at the moment. Ahhh!!!

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Transfer complete

The lead up to Transfer Day has been busy and pretty stress-free. I decided that I would try to get the house as tidy and organised as possible before the transfer so that I could relax during the 2 week wait. This meant that I was so busy that I haven't had much of a chance to even think about IVF (which is good in my opinion).

My husband took the day off work today for the transfer. It was so good to have him there as last time he was in DC for work and missed out.

The staff were friendly and efficient. We spoke to the embryologist, and she gave us a good report on our frozen embryo. It thawed beautifully, and was already starting to hatch out of its shell. It appears to be pretty good quality and it was a relief to hear that everything was running to plan.

The transfer itself was also smooth and easy. It was all over very quickly and then we were sent home. My Doctor doesn't believe in bedrest (unless you choose to do it so make yourself feel more relaxed). It felt weird jumping up off the bed just minutes after the transfer, but my Doctor assured me that I can go about life as usual.

Despite this, I decided to take advantage of my husband's day off work by kindly asking him to care for our very busy toddler. Boy, is she a busy girl. So I lay on the couch for most of the afternoon while he ran around after her, then cooked dinner for me. Bliss.

So all in all it was a good day. Now we have the two week wait ahead. Ugh....