Wednesday, January 25, 2012

The stars aligning?

Hi there,

I'm not sure if anyone reads this little blog anymore, but it's still a helpful place for me to come and chronicle my situation.

After a tough 2011 on the fertility front, I finally feel like things are starting to change for us.

Firstly, my DH comes home from deployment in just under a fortnight! I am so amazed that he is almost home. I can literally feel layers of stress peeling off me. I feel so much lighter knowing that he'll be home safely soon and that he can also help me more with DD. I can't wait to have him and his support back again.

Secondly, I start stims for IVF in just over 2 weeks. I am excited to finally get going with IVF again. There has been so much waiting while DH was away. It was hard to wait, but I needed to do the right thing for me and my family. I think it is definitely the "right time" to pursue more treatment now.

So, life is looking good for us. It's been a tough deployment at times and i'm glad it's almost over. I know we'll have some readjustment issues to work through as well as IVF, but i'm confident that it will all work out somehow.

I"ll keep you posted.

Friday, January 6, 2012

IVF plans for 2012

Trying to conceive number 2 has been a stop-start, stop-start, stop-start experience for me. It's been very difficult because of DH's absense on deployment, and the demands on me to do IVF alone (while managing our toddler, working, taking care of the house etc).

I'm not complaining as I'm really proud of DH for doing the deployment. But I guess I've got to admit that it's taken all of my physical and emotional energy just to cope with the deployment. Let alone adding solo IVF to the mix.

In my last post I had decided to go ahead with IVF this month using DH's frozen sperm. I want to move ahead so badly - the waiting between cycles has been driving me crazy!

But I also have to accept the reality of my situation. Coping with a deployment is hard. Doing IVF without a partner's support is hard. It's possible - but it's difficult.

I've had to step back from the situation and decide what is most important to me. So these are the things I've been thinking:

1. The RE believes we make better embryos from fresh not frozen sperm.
2. Having DH around when doing a cycle makes it much less stressful from a practical and emotional sense.
3. Our goal is to have a take home baby as a family at some point - not just rush into IVF on my own ASAP.
4. Really, waiting until Feb/March when DH is home is frustrating, but it makes sense.

For this reason I've made the decision to wait until Feb to do the cycle. It will be a frustrating 5 week delay. But DH will then be home for good, and life will get easier (I hope). Also, we can then proceed from there without any further delays if we have to.

So, bring on 2012!