Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Emotional

We found out we're having another little girl!  I'm so so so amazed by this news.  Two little girls is more than I can comprehend.  I feel so undeserving of this prize. 

My husband was hoping for a boy.  He is a real "guys guy" with two brothers and five nephews.  When we were first married we always imagined ourselves having little boys.  But we all know life doesn't work out as we planned, and now we are blessed with two girls! 

He would like to try for number three, but I feel I am done now.  The best day was throwing out all of the (now out of date) IVF drugs.  It was an amazing feeling of gratitude to be able to move forward in my life now.

I hope my husband will love having two girls (as much as I think I will).  We have two frozen embryos left, and I guess we could give them a try.  But I don't want to have to go through another stimulated IVF cycle ever again.  I've done 7 IVF cycles over the last 4 years and I'm so pleased to be done now.  Besides, if our beautiful first daughter is anything to go by, two girls will keep us more than occupied for the next 18 years!

I'm feeling much more emotional this time around. I think it's this overwhelming sense of gratitude that I'm almost "on the other side" now.  I know IF will always be a part of me, but I feel so close now to being done with infertility treatments. 

When I was pregnant with DD1, I always knew in the back of my mind we would have to go through more IVF to give her a sibling.  Now I don't have that sense of "fight" left in me.  I am just settling into this feeling of gratitude, thankfulness, relief and just plain happiness. 

The best times are when I'm lying near DH and DD, and I can feel the baby kicking.  It feels like we're finally a complete family.  That all my dreams are so close to coming true.  I am so humbled. 

I'm going to return to this blog more regularly to update how I'm feeling.  It's a precious time and I'd love to savour it. 

Did anyone else feel so emotional during pregnancy?