Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Taking time out

Since my husband left on his deployment a few months ago, I've been coping by keeping busy. In some respects this has really helped me deal with his departure as I've had very little time to think about it. And the time has flown by.

The only problem is that I started to become exhausted. Being a single Mom is a very difficult thing, and I was trying to do it all. Looking after my daughter, doing all of the cooking, cleaning, washing, gardening and also working in my job. The busier I got, the harder it has been to wind down and relaxed. I haven't been sleeping well.

I'm not surpised that I have been feeling so exhausted.

So when I went to see the RE last week I was not feeling great. I'd lost more weight and looked pretty skinny. My iron and Vit D levels are low. My energy is low. I have black circles under my eyes etc.

So the RE and I discussed my plans for the upcoming frozen embryo transfer scheduled for November. Then she asked about my overall wellbeing and self-care at the moment. She told me I had lost a bit of weight and asked if I had an eating disorder (thankfully I don't). She asked if I'm eating well (I'm not). She asked about my energy levels. And in the end she pretty much told me she doesn't think I could cope with a pregnancy right now and she wants to wait until progressing with the next IVF cycle.

I felt so Relieved to have this decision made. I really don't want to deal with IVF right now, and I don't think I have enough energy to cope with a pregnancy.

Part of me feels very sad that I've decided to put IVF on hold for a few months. It feels like I waited a LONG time (4 years) to have my daughter, and now I have to wait again to hopefully conceive number 2. But I also know I have to look after myself and my family first before focussing on further IVF.

So now I'm learning to relax and slow down. I'm resting more. Reading more. Staying at home more. Sleeping more. Cooking more. Eating more. And I feel good.

IVF is on hold for now. Not forever, but until I feel ready to give it another go.

Saturday, September 17, 2011

Trying to get well

Wow - Since my husband left on his deployment 7 weeks ago, things have been crazy. Life is super busy with an active toddler and only me to care for her.

I am a believer that all things work out for a reason. Part of me is quite relieved that I'm not pregnant right now. I feel so exhausted and overwhelmed at times that I don't think I have the capacity to "give" anything more to anyone (or sustain a pregnancy for that matter).

I went to see the regular Doctor recently and had some blood tests done. The results indicated that I am very Iron deficient and somewhat Vit D deficient (as I always stay out of the sun). I am relieved that there is a physical reason for my exhaustion, and I'm on suppliments and dietary changes to try to rectify this.

I haven't seen my RE in a while. I'm going to see her this week to let her know about the recent blood tests. I also need to figure out when to do the next FET. I am thinking that November would be perfect timing for me, but I need to get more energy first.

I am going to start doing my grocery shopping online, and maybe will get a cleaner in too. Any other ideas for how to reduce the housework?

I'll post again after the appointment with the RE.......