Back at the IVF Clinic with Updated Plan

Things have been kind of interesting around here lately.
I've had babies, babies, babies on my mind (and whether or not I can have another baby!)
So many of my good friends are trying for babies at the moment, and two friends have started to try for baby number 3 (lucky things).
So naturally I've been swept up in all the baby talk.
And I've been feeling a bit anxious about starting IVF, and I started to wonder whether I should do IVF sooner than I'd planned.
Thankfully, I spoke to my Mom who gave me a good reality check last night. The conversation went something like this:

Me: "Mom, I know that I planned that we would wait a while before doing IVF again. I know that makes sense and will fit in better with our life plans. But all my friends are trying to fall pregnant right now, and it won't be long before all the pregnancy announcements are made. I'm already feeling panicky and anxious about IVF. So I'm thinking maybe I should just do it sooner than I planned."

Mom: "But I thought you decided to wait a little while. You had really sensible reasons for waiting. You wanted to focus on spending time with your daughter and DH before he goes on his deployment. And we are going to have a family holiday in August (the month he leaves). Why are you thinking about doing IVF now?"

Me: "Because all my friends will be pregnant soon and I won't be able to cope. I just want to get IVF over and done with."

Mom: " Do you think that's really a good reason? Your DD has only just turned one. You shouldn't do IVF just because all your friends are getting pregnant. You should do it because it's right for you.'

Me: " I know you're right Mom. But nothing is logical or reasonable with IVF. Emotions take over and sweep aside rationality."

So, then I decided to discuss it with DH. DH is getting slightly irritable with my indecisiveness. He just wants me to hurry up with IVF and not stress so much about it.

DH became annoyed when I told him I wanted to wait until later in the year. I couldn't figure out why this would annoy him. It turns out that he thinks he has a good chance of getting a great posting next year. If he gets the posting, we would be leaving in October. If I do fall pregnant at the end of the year, it would be too late to get this posting. And boy, he really wants to do this family posting.

After this discussion I felt conflicted. Do I rush into IVF like DH wants? If it is successful, then I would experience the whole pregnancy alone. DH may even miss the delivery. At best, he would come home and have a newborn. It's alot to adjust to.

But do I wait a while like Mom suggested? Do I see DH off on his deployment and then do the FET once I feel OK? What about the posting next year (if we get it?)

And what do I want in all of this? I need to make the decision for goodness sake!!

So after seeking Mom's opinion and DH's opinion, I sat down with a piece of paper. Instead of figuring out when IVF would suit me, I went backwards. When would the arrival of a newborn suit us as a family?

If DH gets home in mid-Feb 2012, then the birth of a baby in May/June sounds perfect. It would give us enough time to adjust to being together again. It would allow us time to decorate a new nursery together, or to make plans for the October posting.

So that means that the IVF cycle could start in September.

This is a good plan because:

• I can enjoy a few drinks with DH before he leaves for his deployment. We dont' have to stress about IVF. We can focus on our little family, and having fun together.
• I can adjust to DH being gone before worrying about IVF.
• I can go on the holiday with my family after DH goes.
• I can then do the FET in September when I get back from the holiday.
• If all goes to plan, I will only be 5 months pregnant when DH gets home. I can still run around after DD and won't be too big.
• I can focus on enjoying having DH home before the baby arrives. DH can be involved in the pregnancy.
• DH and I can organise the space for the new baby, and buy baby gear together.
• If the FET doesn't work and I need to do more IVF cycles, I can do another cycle when DH is home for his mid-deployment break.

So - that's the plan for now.

I feel so exhausted with all this stressing and planning!

Only 6 months to go until the FET. Enough time to relax and have fun with my little family but not too long to wait!!