Beta Day

From days 7 through 10 post transfer, I knew I was pregnant. It is unmistakable to me. I had very clear pregnancy symptoms and a faint positive home pregnancy test.

The night before the beta test I went to bed and when I woke up the pregnancy symptoms had gone. I tried another home pregnancy test and the result was even weaker. I suspected that the embryo had implanted for about 3 days, but then failed to survive beyond that.

On the day of the beta we had hope that I was still pregnant. After all, vanishing pregnancy symptoms and a faint positive pregnancy test are hardly accurate predictors of IVF outcomes. But in our hearts we knew.

The beta came back - 7.

Too low for a viable pregnancy.

I have to go back in for a further blood test to make sure it's not eptopic.

DH and I felt such a sense of sadness over this little embryo. It was to be due on my birthday next year, and we had already discussed names. I feel sad that this little life, that would have been deeply loved, is never going to be.

DH leaves on his deployment in a fortnight. We have so much going on right now. Our stress levels are high. My workload at work is high. We're both feeling depressed and stressed. We know that right now isn't a good time for another IVF cycle.

So I'm going to wait a couple of months and then try again. I'm still hopeful that we will have another baby, but right now just isn't the time for us.