Friday, May 27, 2011

DH, his boys, and the deployment

DH had to drop his boys off at the clinic today. He's leaving them behind for me so that I have access to them if I need them for IVF while he's on deployment.

DH's deployment is creeping up. Some of my friends have been asking me how I feel about it. I guess they feel a bit sorry for me and they want to know how I'm coping.

So far I'm coping OK. It's hard to believe that he's going for 6 months. Part of me just wants him to hurry up and leave already. I know this sounds harsh, but we've been waiting for this deployment for 14 months. I just want it to be over.

I'm trying not to think about things too much, and trying not to feel too much. I feel a bit overwhelmed and numb about everything.

How do I feel about DH leaving me? Numb.....

How do I feel about the frozen embryo transfer in July? Numb...........

How do I feel about possibly being pregnant in a few months? Numb..............

What will I do if the frozen transfer doesn't work out? Will I go through IVF on my own? I don't know................................

I'm just putting one foot in front of the other and not thinking too far ahead.

I'm kind of excited about IVF in July, but kind of scared about it not working out.

But overall I think I'm doing pretty well. I'm thankful that I have an awesome RE. I've been through IVF before so I know what to expect. And I've got my baby girl to keep me busy. And when you look at things, life is darn good.

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