Sorry it's been so long since I last wrote. I've been having trouble logging into Blogger and so it's been a while since I updated.
We have just finished our fifth IVF cycle. The cycle started out pretty well - we had 9 mature eggs retrieved (the most ever) and we had 5 good looking embryos on Day 3. We pushed it out to a Day 5 blast transfer and I went in expecting a few decent embryos based on the good Day 3 report.
I was shocked the embryologist told us just one of the five embryos made it from day 3 to day 5. I was so overwhelmed at the thought of having to do another stimulated cycle if this one didn't work, I burst into tears before the embryo transfer. In fact, I cried my way through the entire procedure even though I was doing everything I could to keep it together.
The RE reassured me that my distress wouldn't affect the outcome of the cycle...but it wasn't great. You want to go into a transfer feeling calm and happy, not crying your eyes out with distress.
After the transfer I opted not to lie down alone (I knew I would just cry more), so I went shopping instead. And I phoned my Mom from the shops and cried some more (in public!) So it wasn't a great day.
The day after the transfer I got a surprise call from the clinic. Two additional embryos had made it to blast on Day 6. It was such a relief to have two frozen embryos that I immediately relaxed and felt much better about everything.
A week after the embryo transfer I had no symptoms. I am the sort of person that can feel if I'm pregnant or not. I don't need to POAS - in fact, I try to avoid them. I felt my two last chemcial pregnancies, and it was so disappointing to feel the pregnancy symptoms come and then go three days later.
So again, I was upset when I had no symptoms a week after transfer. I called Mom from work (again in tears) telling her that I didn't think it had worked. It felt like a BFN cycle.
Strangely that afternoon at work I started to feel nauseas. It continued throughout the afternoon and I felt so elated. The symptoms then continued for the remaining two days - reassuring pregnancy symptoms.
Now, I had no idea whether or not I was pregnant. But it was nice to have a few days of believing that I could be pregnant. It was like living in a fantasy land, and I didn't want to have my beta taken.
I went in the day of the beta to have my test. I was so nervous waiting for the result. The nurse called an hour later than she was supposed to - apparently the results were slow coming in. She sounded normal on the phone - almost a bit flat. I thought it was a BFN or chemical again. Then she said "I have some really nice news for you." The beta came back at 175 which is a day earlier than they normally draw blood due to the weekend. So she was happy with that number, and so were we.
Since then I've been in complete and utter shock. The symptoms have continued and I certainly feel more pregnant now.
After five IVF cycles it's difficult to get too elated. I know that too many things can go wrong and I can't get too excited just yet. But a BFP is a great step forward.
I feel so happy and blessed. I think we may be having a new member of the family join us in 2013. How incredible!